Cafe Primo

Where the fuck is the rest of my schnitzel?

Coopers Ale House

This schnitzel was from the Coopers Ale House (or as I keep saying 'pale house') at 316 Pulteney St, Adelaide. This man-date consisted of three young strapping chaps on a Friday night.

What was ordered: Veal Schnitzel with Diane gravy and a beer.

Size

Decent size schnitty. It wasn’t overhanging the plate (as the plate was fucking huge), but you could still beat a child to death with it. The size pretty much filled me and didn’t leave me with a sick feeling (as I usually eat till I finish my plate. [except at the Earl, The Kingdom of Monster Schnitzels]).

Schnitty;

Taste?

De-fucking-licious. This is by far one of the best tasting schnittys that has ever graced my mouth. What made it so great is the crumbing. On closer inspection, one notices herbs and what-not on the crumbing. There were just enough herbs used as well, subtle, like Jacksons beard. The meat itself was also damn good, a nice beefy flavour, but not overpowering or lacking. Pretty much perfect, unlike Jackson's beard.

Texture?

Moist. Moist is always good.

Topping!

Taste?

My favourite; Diane gravy. Garlic and cream. The gravy was pretty good. Could have had a stronger taste, but I am in (mass)debate over this, as I thoroughly enjoyed the actual meat in this meal.

Texture?

The gravy came in on the actual meat. I’m one for dipping my chips into gravy, so when gravy comes in this fashion, I always hope they use a lot. Unfortunately, there was not a lot. That said, the consistency of the gravy had a high viscosity, allowing it to stay on my beautifully crumbed slice of baby cow flesh.

Chips

They were alright. More gravy would have helped.

Salad/side

None on offer!

Drink

Who knows? Joel bought us a beer, Hahn in fact (sponsorship?). Thanks EB bonus!

Price

Again, who knows? Joel decided to shout us. Fuck Joel is wicked.

In general, it was relatively well priced for the content that was on offer, as opposed to Halo map packs, which are pricey for the included content.

Overall

I loved this. One of the best I’ve ever eaten (can't say too much for the other guys’ meals, as they got some other schnitzel variant, although one said that a bite of mine was better than his whole meal). The winrar was in the herbs in the crumbs, a touch of brilliance.

I would strongly suggest getting a meal at the Ale House. Great cuisine, my compliments to the chef. Although, on a Friday night, we had to book a table, and that said table was bumped into by a drunken "interracial gay couple", who thinks that having 2 steins of beer is manly. Sigh. Oh, and the lady who served us, we had no clue what she was saying, she had a Texan-Irish accent. Or she was drunk. Finally, be prepared to run into the Ray family.

love Kevin

Your New Best Friend

A schnitzel is defined, technically, as:

A thin cutlet of veal, usually seasoned, that is dipped in batter and fried.

Schnitzels are a mans best friend. They define manhood, along with beards and beers, and it is not uncommon to see all three in the same place at once, in fact it is relatively common in most pubs across the nation these days. Unlike drunk, bearded men sitting at bars though, a great schnitzel is very hard to come by. So, to make things a little easier we have started this blog to help you, the regular joe/(josephine), become a man, find a great schnitzel and grow a beard.*

In our travels, we will cover many locations and gorge ourselves on a variety of schnitzels, as well as schnitzel toppings and sauces. The reward for us will be having full stomachs and the reward for you will be an ever-growing directory of schnitty goodness. We hope to take our adventure across country - to find and detail, the very best schnitzel that our great nation has to offer.

So come with us on many a man-date and help us find Australia's best schnitty!

*Disclaimer: beard growth is not guaranteed and relies on a number of environmental and genetic factors to be accounted for.